Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  14

  Interview with an “Unbelieving Mate (UBM)”: Frazzled

  by Frazzled UBM in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  in honour of jgnat i have completed her template:.

  is your wife still an active witness?

  no thankfuly - she has only been to the memorail, a convention and the kh once this year and has done none of that for at least 6 months.

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  Sail Away

  Frazzled, thank you for your candid post and for honoring jgnat's contribution to this forum in this way. Crangratulations on the great progress you have made with your wife and your marriage! You are right-- open communication is paramount.
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  443

  Zone Visit: An Announcement That Will "Test Your Faith"

  by breakfast of champions in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this is the scuttlebutt in one of the "bethel congregations" by us.. no details as to exactly what this "faith-testing" announcement might be.. anyone else hear any of this pre-zone visit hype?.

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  Sail Away

  If the "inactive" are "blood guilty", isn't it a short leap to being "disassociated by their actions" and worthy of shunning. Now that would be a "test of faith", especially for family members.
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  20

  Help

  by Horseygirl12 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im so frustrated i could kill myself right now!!

  im 15 and a couple weeks ago i confessed to my parents that i didn't want to be a jehovahs witness anymore and also that i was bisexual.

  i had just gotten back from an eating disorder clinic and my parents decided to put me back in school (i was homeschooling before).

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  Sail Away

  (((Horseygirl)))

  I have been suicidal. I had two mantras that got me through the darkest hours:

  1. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  2. Suicide is not an option.

  Please follow the advice that has been given-- see your primary care doctor or a mental health professional and tell them everything. Don't hold anything back. They will be able to give you the help you so desparately need and deserve. Please let us know how you are doing!
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  64

  one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we talk here about the importance of being mentally and physically out to be really free.. what about being emotionally free?.

  i realized for me, i had to be emotionally awake first.

  i had been yo-young back and forth for years.

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  Sail Away

  It all happened so fast for me. I was at a service meeting when I woke up emotionally. I spent the next six weeks reviewing all of my doctrinal issues in my mind, not conferring with anyone-- there were many. (I wish I had saved all the letters I wrote to Bethel over my 42 year tenure.) I decided I was done, but kept my word to take another JW to the DC. I remember thinking I was surrounded by The Stepford Wives and literally laughed out loud when they said 'the toes in Daniel's dream image mean nothing!' That was July 4th weekend. I didn't begin researching TTAT until that fall. In two weeks' time I knew I had made the right decision!

  My husband faded 30 years before I did. He didn't learn TTAT until a year after I walked away. He is still working on being emotionally free. His parents are still uber dubs. He was a born in and is still not fully deprogrammed.
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  82

  Do you remember the 15 minute break at the Sun. meeting?

  by 3rdgen in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a poster on another thread reminded me of when there was a 15 min.

  break between the talk and the wt study on sundays.

  the break was supposed to be to allow jw's time to drive their bible studys home from the talk.

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  Sail Away

  My family started studying in 1969. I remember the book studies being conducted in a mobile home (Babylon the Great Has Fallen, followed by Then is Finished the Mystery of God.) My dad was a smoker and a police officer. He had to give up both, and that was his undoing. Being a K-9 officer was tbe best thing he ever did. Mom thoroughly opposed anyone coming into her home and telling her what to do. Smart woman! Dad eventually caved to her hatred for all things JW, but believed it to be the truth until his death in 1992. I was the only one to become a JW out of five kids. I chose a cult over crazy and dysfunctional. They do target the vulnerable!
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  14

  Complex PTSD and Ex JW's

  by JRK in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been diagnosed with complex ptsd by my therapist due to events of abandonment and abuse as a child.

  the cult experience of being raised as one of jehovah's witness was a major factor.

  i think that the sparlock video and the conti case has brought emotional flashbacks to some of us here, so i wanted to post information that i have found helpful.

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  Sail Away

  Thanks for posting the Facebook link and for BTT, Watchtower-Free!

  My previous therapist told me she would have diagnosed me as having C-PTSD if it had made it into the DSM-5. I'm currently seeing a Buddhist psychologist, practicing Insight Meditation, studying tai chi and qigong and taking a MBSR course. Somatic healing therapies are key.
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  6

  Jehovanomics RULE #2: Bequest Of Property.

  by Jehovanomics in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  cashing in on death.

  death is payday for the jehovah witnesses.

  it's what they celebrate.

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  Sail Away

  My in-laws have millions in assets. My husband helped build those properties as he grew up and was written out of their will decades ago when he left the organization. The WBT$ takes all. They say they "don't want or need anything" from us. "Everything is all set. Communication would be nice, but is not necessary." so they say. I have no intention of speaking to them ever again. They shun their son and our children and have questioned whether I go to meetings. They don't deserve an answer to that question. My husband doubts he will even be informed of their deaths. So be it.

  Welcome Jehovanomics!
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  27

  When did you start getting ANGRY?

  by Separation of Powers in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  when i started the fade....i recognize that i was upset, mainly because of the desillusionment.

  but, over the course of the past several months, i am noticing an increasing anger toward all thing org.

  it can only be described as indignation, not simply upset.

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  Sail Away

  I started getting angry when I began to realize that the elders were wolves in sheep's clothing. They were there to enforce the rules, not shepherd the flock. I challenged them with regard to treatment of my husband and my DF'd daughter-in-law on more than one occaision, and they backed down, changed tactics and even apologized.

  I really got angry about a year after I walked away. My son finally confided in me that he had tried to go back and get reinstated about a year after he was DF'd. The elder that had portrayed himself as a big brother to my son who was a "fatherless boy" (read had a known apostate for a father) was a total hypocrite. My son went to this elder when he was terrifed and feeling unsafe (for good reason) and felt a need to return to the congregation in order to feel safe. The elder swore at my son in the most vile terms, because he felt my son had made him look bad. He showed his true colors, all the while lying to me that there was no problem between the two of us when he was clearly avoiding me. He was feeling guilty. I hope that one day I can have an honest face-to-face discussion with this hypocrite who further endangered my son's life. I would like to thank him for making sure that my son will never return to the cult.

  In the meantime, this man has been taken down a peg. He was the project overseer (not sure what the exact title was) for many quick builds, re-builds and renovations through the Regional Building Committee-- not so much anymore. Also, he prided himself in giving the hard doctrinal public talks, one of them based on the Trinity brochure. Ha.
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  31

  Question for "apostate" couples.

  by 3rdgen in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone!

  today i was reminded that just because both of us left the wtbt$ we are not always on the same page.. .

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  Sail Away

  Simon: "It did cause arguments for us when we were first leaving - I think the chances of both people being on exactly the same page at precisely the same time is remote so it's probably inevitable that there will be disagreements and of course the WTS doctrines kind of promote this.

  Fortunately we made it through and we both feel the same way about things now (or close enough that differences don't matter). Neither of us have a great deal of direct interest in JWism anymore although we're both still impacted due to family.

  The main things is to keep talking and reasoning, not arguing."

  Thanks for this perspective.
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  32

  I Was Asked To Perform A Marriage Ceremony But Don't Know I'm Qualified

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my girlfriend's daughter and her fiancee asked me to marry them last night.

  they live in connecticut and will be married in new york.

  i felt honored that i was asked but i don't think i can do it because i am not a clergyman or minister and my u derstanding is that only clergy or judges and lawyers and justice of the peace can perform a wedding ceremony and marry a couple.. does anyone have any information on this subject?

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  Sail Away

  Minimus, a marriage license needs to be for the city in which it is performed. The minister or JP always says something to the effect, "By the power vested me by the State of ____, I now pronouce you man and wife (or husband and wife)." You would need to be qualifed in NY if that is where the wedding ceremony will be held.